Happy Holidays meets Merry Christmas in the Iron Cage of Death

I wasn't going to say a single word on the subject. I wasn't really sure what I could add to the debate, anyway. But I was just at the grocery, and had a revealing conversation with the lady at the checkout.

Long ago, she had moved to the States from Poland, while it was still under communist rule. She was worried that she was seeing a familiar trend here in our country, regarding this whole "Happy Holidays vs. Merry Christmas" debate. I pressed her for more details, and she said that she worries about a small, ultra-liberal fringe that is trying to take away our freedom of speech, and secularize our lives. She claims--and I have no reason to doubt her--that she was told not to say "Merry Christmas" to customers. (She did not make it clear whether that was stated by management, or by an irate customer, but either way, it upset her.)

We "progressives" have been blaming the conservative right for making a lot of noise this year about this non-issue. Were we wrong?

Is it possible that we as a nation have become so polarized that we're pitting the First Amendment against itself? Freedom of speech vs. freedom of religion?

Do the secular liberals want us to stop saying "Merry Christmas" in public? Or do the neocons want us all to celebrate the holy days of Christmas as they do?

Both? Neither?

Hmmm...

It's "separation of church and state" not "separation of church and citizen."

Separation of Church and State is a good idea. Those who drafted the Constitution knew it, and felt so strongly about it that they included it at the very top of their list. Now it's arguably the single most important issue in politics today. Our feelings on this one topic affect what we think about every big news issue right now: Iraq, terrorism, abortion, prayer in school, evolution and Intelligent Design, gay rights, and, apparently, how to wish happiness upon another person.

After all, isn't that what we're trying to do? Do you say "Merry Christmas!" or "Happy Holidays!" as a wish for the happiness of the recipient, or as a challenging statement to identify whether the other person is friend or foe? The former, of course! If you say it like you mean it, who could possibly be offended? Let's try it out:

Human #1, with a genuine smile, says: "Merry Christmas!"
Human #2, with equal authentic enthusiasm, replies: "Happy holidays!"

End of scene. No altercation, no argument, no fisticuffs, no hurt feelings, no offense. Just two people wishing each other a joyous season. Who is reading more into it than that? Who is hoping there is more to it than that? Are we so bored or repulsed by the real news (Iraq, Iraq, Iraq, Iran, Iraq, and Iraq) that we have to rant about this?

Some people are just too darn sensitive.

I've always liked the phrase "No offense is given where none is taken." Okay, it's a Vulcan phrase from a Star Trek novel (Kirk-era), but it's a good sentiment nonetheless. I worry about people who are easily offended by words. I'm even more worried about those offended by kind words, like "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays."

We've always had loud, hypersensitive fringe groups in America. Perhaps it's the noise level that makes the fringe seem so large and frightening.

Or, perhaps the set of people who would agree with, say, Radical Idea #1282 is rather large. In fact, it's possible that both extremes exceed 50% of the American population. "Humbug!" you say, "Where did you learn math?!"

Consider: Given a particular issue, and despite the freakish absolutist rhetoric of both extremes, there is a kernel of truth on both sides, and most of us can recognize that truth long enough to follow the argument. At least at the moment. If we happen to be answering a poll at that moment, well... Let's try it. Imagine that you were asked to respond to the following survey:

How many of the following statements do you agree with? (If you want to be heard on our radio program, you have to answer quickly.)

• I believe in a higher power.
• All life is precious.
• Children should not witness perverse sex acts on TV.
• Freedom is worth fighting for.
  
• We must strive to end poverty in our nation.
• We must feed the hungry.
• We must encourage democracy in other nations.
  

See? It's not even necessary that we be stupid or easily persuaded. We're smart, and we can see both sides of an issue. Perhaps we become polarized only when we're told about the growing threat "over there" on the other side of the aisle.

We become afraid of the growing fringe "over there", and respond by adjusting our opinions away from "them," thus increasing the size of our own fringe group. Polarization almost seems to feed on polarization, until there is only "us" and "them," only Red States and Blue States. But it really starts with fear at the individual, personal level. Fear fed to us by someone else (politician, parent, friend) who has drifted off into the fringe.

It takes curiosity and courage to see our own mental machinations, and to settle down and think rationally about an issue.

Back to saving Christmas...

So is there common ground? Sure! And the First Amendment guarantees it, without conflicting with itself, at all. The government isn't supposed to do anything to establish a state religion. Simple and clear enough. This isn't an attack on one particular religion, or on religiously-minded politicians, private schools, or charities. Nor does it imply that you can't wish someone a Very Merry Christmas. Freedom of expression, at its very best, in fact!

May I offer a compromise? When speaking, we can try to speak from the heart. If we're generous and true with our wishes for the happiness of others, they'll be able to tell. And when we receive such a wish, we can take it in the spirit it was intended, not as a challenge to our beliefs. If you want to offer "Merry Christmas" then do so.

People can boycott a store for posting signs that say "Happy Holidays." Others can boycott the store down the street for saying "Merry Christmas!" They're just stores after all. You get to vote with your dollars. But with other people's hearts, it's not such a simple transaction.

I would guess that, from a business perspective, "Happy Holidays" would be a better financial choice, overall. It covers Thanksgiving, New Years, and everything in between. It covers Christmas, Chanukah, and a myriad other holidays that are growing in popularity because other folks want to celebrate simultaneously with their Christian neighbors. And why shouldn't they? It's a festive time! It can remain thus, if we open our hearts and release those pent-up fears.

Let's have a Merry Christmas!