A Merry Buddhist Christmas

We recently watched one of my all-time favorite Simpsons episodes, called She of Little Faith. Lisa has a crisis of faith and subsequently converts to Buddhism. Marge makes a bold, loving, and hilarious attempt to win Lisa back during the Christmas season, but it backfires and Lisa runs away on Christmas eve.

Lisa then visits the Springfield Buddhist Temple where Lenny, Carl, and Richard Gere are meditating, and she receives some excellent advice:

Gere: ...Buddhists respect the diversity of other religions, as long as they're based on love and compassion.
Lisa: Wha...?!
Gere: It's true. So why don't you go home? I'm sure your family really misses you.
Lisa: I can really celebrate Christmas?
Gere: You can celebrate any holiday. And, you know, my birthday is August 31st.

I have to confess, with a little selfconscious embarrassment, that Lisa Simpson is my favorite cartoon superhero: Her moral compass seems to be aligned with my own. And, in the aforementioned episode and others, whenever she takes her progressive leanings too far, she learns important lessons about tolerance and moderation. Yet she is always able to stay true to herself. (See Lisa the Vegetarian and Lisa the Iconoclast for examples.)

Which brings me to my own (disjointed) thoughts on Christmas:

Schitzophrenic Santa

For me, there have always been two sides of Christmas: There is the spiritual side, with august Christmas Eve church services, the wonderful story of the nativity, and some of the most spiritually moving music ever written. Then there was the celebratory side, with Santa, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, the Christmas Tree, gifts, feasts, candy, rum and eggnog.

Now, in twenty-first century America, the holiday seems a bit more...bipolar.

Less is More

As a child, both my joy and anxiety regarding Christmas revolved around gift-giving. Even before I had any money to spend, I wanted to find things that my family members would really want. When I finally got a salary, I went a little wild. It was certainly fun to buy people the things they most wanted, but it can also make them feel a little uncomfortable.

I eventually landed in a relationship with a true shop-a-holic. I discovered what the phrase "desires are inexhaustible" could mean when taken to the extreme. What's the point in trying to make someone happy with gifts, if, on the day after Christmas, they're still wanting? What's spiritual about enabling someone's addiction?

I was beginning to think society would eventually reach the point where we would all simply transfer funds to each other, and the goal would be to transfer more into the recipient's account than he or she had transferred into yours. Pretty cynical, eh?

Just within the past few years, my family has done away with most Christmas gift-giving. Most of our family can afford to buy for themselves whatever they need, and also most of what they want. Plus we're geographically dispersed, so it's difficult to pick up on subtle gift ideas. When every need and want can be met by visiting an on-line store, where's the challenge?

Instead we search for fun, light-hearted, inexpensive gifts based on a simple theme. One year the gift was limited to "Christmas-themed" items. This year was "food and drink" year, though we weren't able to participate due to the prohibitive cost of airfare. Next time that happens, I think I'll recommend "charitable donation" year. I can get all my shopping done on-line at Oxfam.

Christmas gift-giving (both the celebration and the shopping) is now more fun, and less stressful.

Christmas Without Christ?

Christmas is as religious or as secular as a family decides to make it. Those who have turned it into a political argument are spoiling the fun for everyone.

Of course, Christmas is a Christian holiday. But so many other religions have joined the season of celebration by increasing the celebratory fervor around December holidays. In some cases, those holidays were once rather subdued occasions.

In some ways, Christmas isn't becoming a secular (effectively non-religious) holiday, but a pluralistic (multi-religious) celebration.

I can understand, even relate to, a concern that Christmas could become spiritually compromised--watered-down, so to speak--by pluralism. The birth of Christ is a deep, holy, stirring event! Why would a belief in a different tradition be seen as a denial of what's considered holy to others?

Secular Is as Secular Does

Before my Christian friends worry too much about spiritual compromise, I would remind them of a few historical notes regarding Christmas:

In this country, and in others, it used to be blasphemous (and illegal) to celebrate Christmas. Puritans and other groups were big on the stoic. "No more fun of any kind."

Also, it's on the wrong date. I recall learning that the birth of Jesus of Nazareth was likely in the Spring, not the Winter. December 25 was originally the day that the Romans celebrated the Winter solstice and the birth of Mithras, who had some connection to the Sun (which becomes stronger after the solstice).

The Christmas Tree? Totally pagan.

And then there's Santa Claus, and the shopping, and the gift-giving, and the dancing and revelry (rum and eggnog...Mmmmmmm!). Various traditions from around the world, all frowned upon by the Puritans, the same folks who gave us Thanksgiving. Maybe they just felt the pressure, knowing that Christmas was just a few shopping weeks away...?

It's a Huge Celebration! Secularists didn't make Christmas into a commercial holiday. No one watches Miracle on 34th Street and thinks "Those damned secularists! Look what they've done!" Do they???

Sugar Plums and Pluralism

Christmas has changed so much over the centuries. Would it be so bad if everyone around the world joined in and declared it a multi-religious celebration of peace, joy, hope, tolerance, the birth of a wise man (or God, depending), patience, shopping, economic growth, and gift-giving?

I'm not trying to push a naive idealism here. I just don't think we have a lot of actual control over our own evolving culture. I think Christmas is headed that way, and we can either embrace the lively growth of American culture with joy, or we can be miserable, cranky grinches for the rest of our lives.

Jesus, The Buddha

There are numerous studies, theories, legends, and myths connecting Jesus of Nazareth to Buddhism. Some suggest that his teachings were influenced by the Far East. Others suggest that he may have inspired stories of Avalokiteshvara, the Bodhisattva of compassion. (At some point the female image of Kuan Yin morphed into the male image of Avalokiteshvara. Talk about cultural changes!)

Any historical flow of ideas in either direction could explain some interesting similarities between the teachings of Jesus and those of Sidhartha Gautama. For example, The Golden Rule, which has been attributed--in one form or another--to numerous wise men throughout the ages, and exists in every major tradition.

There is a different explanation that, in the absence of scientific data, I find more spiritually motivating: The truths uncovered by both the Buddha and the Christ are universal, and universally available to us all, regardless of tradition or belief.

The historical Buddha was probably not the first, and was certainly not the last, to awaken. Nor would he be the last to do so outside of the lineage of his teachings. Good ideas are often realized independently by numerous people. A lot depends on how vocal they are, and whom they piss off.

Emphasis on the divinity of a historical individual tends to reduce the impact of the lessons. We seem to fall into a hero-worship trap: "Oh, those are special teachings, and I'm not worthy, so I won't even try to fulfill them." Or worse, "I am loved and forgiven, so I can break the rules and get away with it." And the latest cop-out: "Those are great ideals, but we have to be realistic!" Is life and death and war and peace so much harder now than it was then? Or was Jesus just wrong?

I don't think so. To me, and to many Buddhists, Jesus was a Great Buddha, one of a handful over the millenia who had the insight, and the gumption to share that insight. He is known as the Prince of Peace. Why isn't our nation of mostly Christians known as the Country of Peace? Why don't we have a Department of Peace?

Too idealistic? I'm not suggesting we have to be perfect. I'm suggesting we try to live up to the ideals we claim as our own.

Too political? Yeah, you got me there. Apologies.

Have a very Merry Christmas!

Happy Holidays meets Merry Christmas in the Iron Cage of Death

I wasn't going to say a single word on the subject. I wasn't really sure what I could add to the debate, anyway. But I was just at the grocery, and had a revealing conversation with the lady at the checkout.

Long ago, she had moved to the States from Poland, while it was still under communist rule. She was worried that she was seeing a familiar trend here in our country, regarding this whole "Happy Holidays vs. Merry Christmas" debate. I pressed her for more details, and she said that she worries about a small, ultra-liberal fringe that is trying to take away our freedom of speech, and secularize our lives. She claims--and I have no reason to doubt her--that she was told not to say "Merry Christmas" to customers. (She did not make it clear whether that was stated by management, or by an irate customer, but either way, it upset her.)

We "progressives" have been blaming the conservative right for making a lot of noise this year about this non-issue. Were we wrong?

Is it possible that we as a nation have become so polarized that we're pitting the First Amendment against itself? Freedom of speech vs. freedom of religion?

Do the secular liberals want us to stop saying "Merry Christmas" in public? Or do the neocons want us all to celebrate the holy days of Christmas as they do?

Both? Neither?

Hmmm...

It's "separation of church and state" not "separation of church and citizen."

Separation of Church and State is a good idea. Those who drafted the Constitution knew it, and felt so strongly about it that they included it at the very top of their list. Now it's arguably the single most important issue in politics today. Our feelings on this one topic affect what we think about every big news issue right now: Iraq, terrorism, abortion, prayer in school, evolution and Intelligent Design, gay rights, and, apparently, how to wish happiness upon another person.

After all, isn't that what we're trying to do? Do you say "Merry Christmas!" or "Happy Holidays!" as a wish for the happiness of the recipient, or as a challenging statement to identify whether the other person is friend or foe? The former, of course! If you say it like you mean it, who could possibly be offended? Let's try it out:

Human #1, with a genuine smile, says: "Merry Christmas!"
Human #2, with equal authentic enthusiasm, replies: "Happy holidays!"

End of scene. No altercation, no argument, no fisticuffs, no hurt feelings, no offense. Just two people wishing each other a joyous season. Who is reading more into it than that? Who is hoping there is more to it than that? Are we so bored or repulsed by the real news (Iraq, Iraq, Iraq, Iran, Iraq, and Iraq) that we have to rant about this?

Some people are just too darn sensitive.

I've always liked the phrase "No offense is given where none is taken." Okay, it's a Vulcan phrase from a Star Trek novel (Kirk-era), but it's a good sentiment nonetheless. I worry about people who are easily offended by words. I'm even more worried about those offended by kind words, like "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays."

We've always had loud, hypersensitive fringe groups in America. Perhaps it's the noise level that makes the fringe seem so large and frightening.

Or, perhaps the set of people who would agree with, say, Radical Idea #1282 is rather large. In fact, it's possible that both extremes exceed 50% of the American population. "Humbug!" you say, "Where did you learn math?!"

Consider: Given a particular issue, and despite the freakish absolutist rhetoric of both extremes, there is a kernel of truth on both sides, and most of us can recognize that truth long enough to follow the argument. At least at the moment. If we happen to be answering a poll at that moment, well... Let's try it. Imagine that you were asked to respond to the following survey:

How many of the following statements do you agree with? (If you want to be heard on our radio program, you have to answer quickly.)

• I believe in a higher power.
• All life is precious.
• Children should not witness perverse sex acts on TV.
• Freedom is worth fighting for.
  
• We must strive to end poverty in our nation.
• We must feed the hungry.
• We must encourage democracy in other nations.
  

See? It's not even necessary that we be stupid or easily persuaded. We're smart, and we can see both sides of an issue. Perhaps we become polarized only when we're told about the growing threat "over there" on the other side of the aisle.

We become afraid of the growing fringe "over there", and respond by adjusting our opinions away from "them," thus increasing the size of our own fringe group. Polarization almost seems to feed on polarization, until there is only "us" and "them," only Red States and Blue States. But it really starts with fear at the individual, personal level. Fear fed to us by someone else (politician, parent, friend) who has drifted off into the fringe.

It takes curiosity and courage to see our own mental machinations, and to settle down and think rationally about an issue.

Back to saving Christmas...

So is there common ground? Sure! And the First Amendment guarantees it, without conflicting with itself, at all. The government isn't supposed to do anything to establish a state religion. Simple and clear enough. This isn't an attack on one particular religion, or on religiously-minded politicians, private schools, or charities. Nor does it imply that you can't wish someone a Very Merry Christmas. Freedom of expression, at its very best, in fact!

May I offer a compromise? When speaking, we can try to speak from the heart. If we're generous and true with our wishes for the happiness of others, they'll be able to tell. And when we receive such a wish, we can take it in the spirit it was intended, not as a challenge to our beliefs. If you want to offer "Merry Christmas" then do so.

People can boycott a store for posting signs that say "Happy Holidays." Others can boycott the store down the street for saying "Merry Christmas!" They're just stores after all. You get to vote with your dollars. But with other people's hearts, it's not such a simple transaction.

I would guess that, from a business perspective, "Happy Holidays" would be a better financial choice, overall. It covers Thanksgiving, New Years, and everything in between. It covers Christmas, Chanukah, and a myriad other holidays that are growing in popularity because other folks want to celebrate simultaneously with their Christian neighbors. And why shouldn't they? It's a festive time! It can remain thus, if we open our hearts and release those pent-up fears.

Let's have a Merry Christmas!

Keep an eye (or foot) on your luggage

I bought new a new suitcase for the Copenhagen trip. I needed two large suitcases, one to carry books and manuals for the class. The old one had lost the sliding handle that allows me to wheel the suitcase around. In fact, that poor old thing was so beat up, I could tell it apart from everyone else's just from the scuffs, stains, and tears.

How do you recognize your luggage? Perhaps more importantly: How do others know it's not theirs?

A few travel tips to keep you from losing stuff.

Checked luggage.

ID tags. Of course, the airlines want you to have your name and address somewhere on the luggage. I like those simple luggage tags that hold a business card, and use a stretchy strap to hang on to the handle. (If you own a company and your employees travel a lot, get them all a few luggage tags with your logo on the back!) You should also toss your business card inside the luggage, in case the tags get torn away. My new bag has a built-in external place for my name and address. Strangely, it's not large enough for a business card, so I don't use it.

Colored luggage belts. I'm surprised by how few people use those luggage straps that make your luggage appear unique. The luggage carousels are still a sea of mostly dull, nondescript black suitcases. We have two straps that are red, white, and blue, and two that are rainbow. If I'm checking two bags, I select matching straps. I can tell which suitcases are mine from a ways away. And there's a much lower chance that someone will accidentally take my luggage.

Carry-Ons.

I once lost a very nice camera on vacation. I left it with my carry-on for just a moment in a hotel hallway. The thief must have been incredibly fast, and must have somehow sensed how much time was available.

After that, I started developing the following weird travel habits to keep track of my carry-ons.

Line of sight. The idea is to simply keep an eye on your stuff. This is required activity while in an airport, but it has numerous personal benefits, too. Set the luggage in front of you. Often airport urinals have a shelf in front of you, at eye level. You can see your luggage, without peeing on it. Take all carry-on luggage into a stall with you.

The trick with the feet. When sitting in the terminal and reading or talking on the phone, always have a foot pressed against each of your two carry-ons. You'll notice if the pressure on your foot suddenly disappears! In the airport bathrooms (those without the convenient shelves), set the luggage behind you, touching your heels, or to each side (and back a little, gentlemen). Just remember they're there, so you don't fall over them while zipping up.

It's all done with mirrors. If neither of the above are possible (usually due to room constraint), try to find a way to keep your stuff within eyesight. Is there a mirror nearby? Can you see them through the reflection on the flusher mechanism? Can you see them out of the corner of your eye? Of course, you have to be careful with this technique, lest the man standing next to you thinks you're looking at him...

Skype Rules! (Especially while I'm overseas)

Copenhagen, Day 6:

With Skype (the amazing, free VOIP product), the internet really shines. Here I am, at 6AM in my hotel room in Copenhagen (I thought jetlag went away after a few days...?), on a wireless network, talking to my partner overseas with a clarity that puts cell phones to shame. I also called Mom, on her birthday, from Copenhagen! "And you sound like you're just in the next room!" I think that was a positive critique. Skype calls sound oddly realistic, even over cheesy laptop speakers and microphones.

And even when the other person is not using headphones, I rarely hear my own voice at the other end. When it does occur, usually the other party need only lower the volume. I don't know how Skype does it. I suspect that there is a smart bit of audio-manipulation software built in. And it has to be using some excellent compression, yes? I am again in love with the internet.

There's often a small delay that causes people to talk over each other on occasion, but it's no worse than cell-to-cell. (Or is that a Sprint-to-Verison delay?)

Skype is not limited to computer-to-computer VOIP, either. For a very small fee (essentially local-call fees), I used a feature called SkypeOut to call a hotel in Copenhagen while I was making initial arrangements for this trip. I've since used the same technology to call Northwest Airlines from Copenhagen, and to call my own US cell phone numbers to get messages.

http://www.skype.com/ Be sure to watch the cute intro movie.

What's In Your Luggage?

More travel tips...

Even when I'm checking bags, I usually try to carry on a little overnight bag containing at least one extra pair of underwear and socks, and all my "toiletries" (also known in certain circles as "product"). The airlines rarely lose my luggage, but when they do, it's a disaster...

<...Flash back to me teaching my very first Extreme Programming Bootcamp with wild no-gel hair, no deodorant, and geeky logo T-shirts borrowed from Josh Kerievsky...>

This overnight bag, as the airlines will tell you, is permissible in addition to your purse or briefcase. It should be small enough so that even the most restrictive Alaska Airlines representative at Oakland Airport will not make you check it at the gate.

I have two tips on those nasty exploding bottles of shampoo/hair-gel/toxic face creams. But first we must face reality together: These messes are not created by careless luggage handlers. It's air pressure plus altitude. Plane goes up, pressure outside bottle drops, bottle squirts contents all over luggage. It's called "explosive decompression," and it ain't pretty.

Tip #1: Carry all the mess-generating tubes and bottles separately in a large zip-lock bag. Yes, you could use the cool bag that came with your luggage, but do you really want to clean it? Zip-locks can be tossed when messy. Though I'm not fond of filling landfills with "disposable" products, I have my limits. Besides, the bags last quite a while, especially if you follow tip #2, below.

Tip #2: Squeeze out some of the air from those mess-generators. While packing, shake the product to the bottom, open the cap, and squeeze a bit of air out. Also, be sure the cap is tight, but not too tight (e.g., Aveda bottle-caps will crack if you try to overtighten, thus defeating the purpose of this tip and leaving you again at the mercy of tip #1, above).

I've noticed that I now reflexively drain a little air out of any bottle after use. Even the milk bottle in the fridge... Clearly, I've been traveling too long.

How do I remember what needs to go in the zip-lock bags? I travel about every other week, so I keep two of everything that goes into the bags (gel, shampoo, tootpaste, toothbrush, floss, deodorant, nail-clippers, Tums, aspirin...). One set lives in the zip-lock for travel, and the other lives in my designated bathroom drawer at home. If you don't travel that often, build a printable checklist and record everything you may want to take.

Business Insomnia? Bring something to read that will stimulate, yet relax, your mind and has absolutely nothing to do with your work. If it's three in the morning and you're tossing and turning about that presentation, make yourself read a few pages. Contrary to popular myth, this should not be a dull book! It has to be interesting enough to take your mind off work. I use either Science Fiction or some book on Buddhism that I'm trying to work through. Stimulating yet relaxing! (Your Options May Vary.)

Another thing that I try to carry for Business Insomnia: A small, portable fan. Just enough to create a pleasant whirring sound. It's a white-noise generator, and it drowns out a lot of the noises you would otherwise hear when trying to sleep in a new place. I use one at home, too, and often sleep right through the Thursday Morning Garbage Truck Parade.

There are a number of other useful techniques: Milk, peanut-butter, stretching, alternatively tensing-and-relaxing muscles. But beyond suggesting you pack your own small jar of peanut-butter (without partially hydrogenated oils, of course), I'd be straying from the topic. Besides, if I knew how to handle all forms of insomnia, I wouldn't be writing this post from my Copenhagen hotel room at 4 AM.

Simple Dining at The Flow

Day 1 in Copenhagen

Today I discovered a great organic vegetarian (and smoke-free!) restaurant in Copenhagen, Denmark. The official name seems to be "Restaurant Flow" but the locals call it "The Flow" (of course). It's on Gyldenlovesgade (the main road that goes past Tivoli and the Square), just past the waters as you enter the city center (at Gyldenlovesgade and Nyropsgade/Nansengade). It's not hard to spot.

From street level, you step down a few stairs past candles and oil lamps. The decor is simple, clean, light, and pleasing. The candles at every table and scattered throughout add a little romance to an otherwise austere experience. The dining area is small and very tasteful (reminiscent of The March in New York, only much less formal). Yet the ordering process is similar to a deli: You read the menu on the board (it's in Danish), or simply go look at what they're serving. They scoop it out from appetizing bowls and platters onto a plate for you. You choose how many items you want. 120 Krones bought a plate of four choices: I had lentils, an herb pasta, a simple tossed salad, and this wonderful red pepper garnished with pumpkin or squash (or something similarly sweet and homey). I was full, and quite pleased with the fresh, wholesome, and creative organic ingredients. This isn't Greens in San Francisco, but it would be a wonderful place for a first date, or a get-together with a few friends. Seating is limited.

Tip #1: If you want the most romantic spot, call ahead and ask to be seated under the Buddha. I didn't spot him until I was on my way out. ("The Buddha...romantic?!")

Tip #2: Travelers, bring cash. Apparently they are not set up to accept credit or debit cards from overseas. But they were kind enough to let me walk down the street a few blocks to an ATM. (There's one on the left side when walking toward the Square.)

See http://www.spisdiglykkelig.dk/

Have Laptop, Will Travel

I've been traveling for business almost constantly since 1999. Here are a few tips regarding airport departures that I've picked up along the way.

Arrive early. The early-bird gets the exit row (more leg-room!), and possibly the free frequent-flyer upgrade to First Class (if you qualify). Be sure to bring a book or something to work on. Where I live, I can't estimate with any accuracy when I'll arrive at the airport. So I'm often very early. When I travel, I get caught up on books, magazines, phone calls.

Bring your own food. The airlines rarely feed you anymore, and when they do, it isn't all that tasty. Plan ahead and decide whether you're going to eat before you drop off your car, before you're going through security, or when you're comfortably at the gate. What can you bring? What will you do with utensils afterwards? Security may balk at metal knives and forks. But if you use them before you get there, you could drop them into your checked luggage, or your car.

Streamline your security screening. Laptops have to be removed from the case and passed separately through the x-ray. Get a laptop case that allows you to slip the laptop into a pocket. Those old briefcase-style cases with the velcro straps are a pain. Also, wear shoes that will slide off easily, and pants that won't fall off if the belt is removed. Or not. (I've seen some cute underwear, thanks to the baggy pants that young men wear these days! :) Give yourself enough time (see tip, above) just in case you get randomly selected for a full search. I've been through plenty of them, and I can assure you it's nothing personal, nor is it racial profiling (see photo - I think it's the "Insanity" T-shirt!). If you really want to get through it quickly, be polite and cooperative. Truly, most people are not trying to make your life miserable. We're all just doing our jobs and trying to get by.